I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I could fuck to npr.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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