I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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