She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
