yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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