I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
