Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
