I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
