Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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