so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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