I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
