Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
