that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
