I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i came on her dog
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
