So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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