So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
