You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
