he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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