think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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