I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i think i have two assholes
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
