all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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