There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
