go do what you do best...puke behind churches
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
