Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
