If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
