there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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