I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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