we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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