Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
