how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
MIDGETS
????
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
