My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
