there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
