piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
There's even glitter on my cock...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
