Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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