I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He's on the porch naked. Help.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
