I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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