OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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