I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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