im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
