I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Boobs speak an international language.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
