the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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