It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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