i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
