K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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