Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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