2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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