haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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