Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
