I puked a lego.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
