Christians are straight up FREAKS
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
