he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
