thus making me awesome and them whores
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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