just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
